Monday, November 25, 2013: Grief, and Thanksgiving Prep

Grief is a funny thing.  There are things you don't think will bother you that make you fall apart after you lose someone.  It was my Aunt's (who Babygirl is named for) birthday Friday.  She would have been 60, but unfortunately we lost her due to multiple systems atrophy this February.  This is the first birthday she has missed, and I didn't think it was going to affect me so much.  My whole family has had several months to morn at this point, but...

When she passed away, my Uncle (her husband) described grief as being "like nausea: sudden and overpowering."  I remember thinking at the time that for me it is more like a poorly secured load of bricks: every once in a while one falls off and hits you.  It is different for everyone.  I still frequently think of my Aunt and then think that she will never be able to do this or that again, and it does make me sad.  She will never go down to Chinatown for dim sum with us again.  She will never visit another art exhibit with us again.  She will never enjoy the company of her beloved dogs again.  It helps immensely to remember how much she suffered in the end and to remind myself that she is in a better place.  But it is still difficult.  We all would have liked her to be here to celebrate her milestone birthday, but we are also happy that she no longer suffers.  We want her back, but as she was before the disease caused her such misery.  We want back the wonderful person, to celebrate with her, but we don't want her suffering.  It is one of those paradoxes that we cannot overcome.  We just must hope that when we meet her again, she is once again the beautiful happy, active, wonderful person we knew before she was afflicted.

Life must go on for the rest of us.


It turned quite cold this weekend, and snowed today.  Hubby and I are hosting Thanksgiving dinner for a select group, and dessert for several more and we had yet to buy a turkey.  I did finally decide on the menu Thursday night: turkey, cornbread and prosciutto stuffing, cranberry orange quinoa salad, sweet potato casserole, brussels sprouts, carrots, mashed potatoes, green salad, wheat bread with honey butter, and a cheese plate for and appetizer, and possibly a pumpkin dessert.

My Mom always used to do Thanksgiving until my parents bought a winter house in Florida a few years ago.  She cooked for her side of the family, and being one of nine children it was a lot of food, even though several people no longer live in this area.  I miss the big gathering and my Mom's food.  She was the one that started making the cornbread and prosciutto stuffing.  Mine just isn't as good as hers, but I keep trying...

We finally managed to get to the grocery store Sunday, and got a lot of the needed items that could be bought that far ahead.  I'll go back tomorrow or Wednesday to get salad greens, herbs and some other veggies (and forgotten items.)

We also (finally!) managed to get the patio items put away in the 19 degree weather.  I guess we shouldn't put it off because the weather seems unseasonably nice.  Oh well.

This promises to be a short but busy week.  It should help me get back into my normal self (whoever that may be this week...)

 Sunday's Outfit

Sweater: Grace Cashmere
Jeans: Lucky
Belt: Nine West
Boots: Ugg (keeping the toes warm at 19 degrees!)
Bracelet: Simply Vera

  Today's Outfit

Sweater: Susan Bristol
Belt: Nine West
Jeans: Lucky
Boots: Ugg
Necklace: my own design
Bracelets (top to bottom): made by me; Banana Republic